Verneika Griffin’s Story: “An Anchor of Hope”

By Terrance Afer-Anderson

Special to the Guide

The Prison Policy Initiative reports that, “80% of the (2,019,900) women who will go to jail this year are mothers, including 55,000 women who are pregnant when they are admitted.” It further notes the potential “brutal side effects” of incarceration on mothers separated from their children include “aggravation of mental health problems, a greater risk of suicide, and a much higher likelihood of ending up homeless or deprived of essential financial benefits.”

Of course, the incarceration of mothers has a profound effect on their children. The Prison Policy Initiative also reports that, as of 2020, “An estimated 1.3 million people living in the U.S. had been separated from their mothers before their 18th birthdays due to their mothers’ imprisonment.” The National Institute of Justice reports that, “Children whose parents are involved in the criminal justice system … face a host of challenges and difficulties: psychological strain, antisocial behavior, suspension or expulsion from school, economic hardship, and criminal activity.”

Having counseled incarcerated fathers for the last quarter century, I immediately realized the need, and began doing the same, for incarcerated mothers as well, expressly sharing with both groups that I am there because of their children. A central theme of my message is that there is no greater blessing, no greater measure of a parent, than to raise another human being, especially their own flesh and blood. Having quickly learned that an unabashed, in-your-face approach is most effective, I then ask, ‘What kind of parent are you?’

But I don’t leave them hanging. I then cite examples of ordinary people suddenly beset by extraordinary challenges, how they successfully navigate them and emerge victorious.

While not someone that I counseled, I recently became acquainted with a formerly convicted felon, a woman who is herself quite extraordinary. It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to the one and only Verneika Griffin.

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Born in Chesapeake, Virginia, Verneika had childhood dreams of becoming a lawyer and owning her own law firm. She was educated in Chesapeake Public Schools, to include Thurgood Marshall Elementary, Oscar Smith Middle, and Oscar Smith High School, where she was a 2005 Honor Graduate.

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Then, in 2007, her life turned upside down. She was convicted on a pair of felonies. These included possession of a controlled substance and embezzlement. She recalled, “I thought my life was over. Just a couple of years earlier, I had walked across the stage as an honor graduate … full of promises and dreams.”

There she was, a 19-year-old convicted felon and the mother of her 4-month-old daughter Nazaria. She was besieged by doubt, consumed by two key questions that often plague incarcerated mothers dreaming of life after release. She anxiously wondered, “Who’s going to hire me? Who’s going to house me?”

But she had a blessing. Her conviction did not lead to incarceration. Yet, she would admonish that is a matter of opinion.

“Though I never sat behind concrete walls or cold steel bars,” she said, “I was still incarcerated, trapped in a prison of my own regret, fear, and broken identity.” While not physically incarcerated, she adds, “I was incarcerated mentally.”

“I carried the label of a convicted felon: possession of a controlled substance, embezzlement.” She reflected even deeper. “On paper, those charges define a moment in time, but what they don’t show is the prison I lived in long after the court dates were over.” She said she served time “in a cell built from shame, fear, and the weight of my own mistakes. Every day felt like a sentence, waking up chained to regret, walking around free but bound on the inside. I lost my voice, my confidence, and for a while, I lost myself. But even in that darkness, there was a spark, a whisper that said, You are more than your worst decision.”

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Her spirit brightening with resolute determination, Verneika added, “Despite the odds, I refused to accept defeat. I enrolled at Tidewater Community College, determined to carve out a new path for myself. I worked odd jobs to provide for my daughter, often struggling, but my hunger for knowledge kept me going. I thrived in my classes, excelling in writing and embracing college experiences. By 2013, I had earned my associate’s degree in Social Science and was inducted into the National Honor Society of Leadership and Success, Sigma Alpha Pi.” Sensing a smile spreading across the entire landscape of her face, Verneika added, “But I wasn’t done yet!”

“Knowing that my record could limit my opportunities in the helping field, I pressed forward. In 2013, I transferred to Norfolk State University to pursue my Bachelor’s in Social Work. It was while at NSU her second child, her son Nathaniel, was born.

“I worked as a practicum peer counselor in Career Services, helping students navigate their paths, while secretly carrying the weight of my own struggles.”

She recalled not having a stable home and facing “rejection at every turn.” She added, “I poured myself into my work, supporting career and community events, and, in 2017, after completing 450 practicum hours, I graduated Cum Laude from NSU and became a member of the Golden Key International Honor Society.” She beamed, “I finally felt that better days were ahead.” Her next goal? A Master’s Degree.

“But reality hit hard,” she said. “Even with my degree, housing and employment remained out of reach. Still, I clung to what I called my ‘Anchor of Hope.’ I knew my purpose was bigger than my circumstances, so I pursued a Master’s in Criminal Justice at Norfolk State University.

“Then” she lamented, “COVID-19 changed everything. The world shut down, and so did my support system. The family members who helped me could no longer do so. My children and I were left with nothing, but faith and hope. I was at my lowest. I knew about homeless services from my social work background. But asking for help myself? That was a different story.”

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Yet, she was relentless in her resolve to continue her ascent for herself and her children. “Swallowing my pride,” she said, “I called the Housing Crisis Hotline. Within weeks, I got a call back. ForKids was ready to help. Through their Tenant Based Rental Assistance program, I began my housing search. On August 14, 2020, I moved my children into our new home. Finally, we had a place to call our own.”

With her ForKids case manager’s assistance, she also pursued another goal, one she said, “seemed impossible … a pardon for my felony convictions.” She added, “In the meantime, I kept pushing forward, finishing my Master’s degree.”

“Then, on January 13, 2022, everything changed,” Verneika said. “I received a letter. My pardon had been granted.” Then, just four months later, on May 5, 2022, yet another blessing, one also well-earned. “I walked across the stage again,” she said, “this time earning my Master of Arts in Criminal Justice.”

Still, it was time for another chilling reflection. She said, “Housed … Pardoned … A Master’s Degree? I should’ve been on top of the world! But I still couldn’t find work in my field.”

She then got a rather curious bit of information. She learned that ForKids was hiring an Alumni Program Coordinator. But the post-felon doubt kicked in again. “I hesitated,” she said. “Why apply,” she pondered. “They’ll just say no!”

“But something told me to hold onto my Anchor of Hope. I applied and, to my surprise, got an interview. On my birthday! Nervous but determined, I walked in with my head held high. Days passed. Then, an email, ‘We’d like to offer you the position.’ On August 29, 2023, I became the Alumni Program Coordinator at ForKids.”

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Verneika is a stellar example of all I tell currently incarcerated mothers and fathers they can achieve. So, let me have Verneika introduce herself.

“Today, I stand before you not as a statistic, not as a felon, but as a success story. I am proof that resilience, faith, and determination can break any cycle. So, allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Verneika Griffin, a mother, a survivor, an advocate, and a leader! This journey is not one-size-fits-all. It’s about meeting people where they are, equipping them with the skills, support, and resources they need to navigate this thing we call LIFE. Thank You!”

Terrance Afer-Anderson is a writer, actor, director and producer. He is also President/CEO, TerraVizion Entertainment Network.